Domestic Violence

When we think of domestic violence it is easy to think, “This doesn’t happen in my neighborhood. Domestic violence is a problem that affects only other people.”  However, the reality is very different.  Domestic violence does happen in all areas of our society—including in families living in upper middle class and upper class neighborhoods.

Recently we have heard a lot about Tigers manager Brad Ausmus’s comments about beating his wife Liz after a Tigers loss.  While Ausmus has apologized and has stated he will make amends, what occurred to  me are the comments from readers excusing his statement because he “was only joking.”

The attitude of those who made comments speaks to the misconception that domestic abuse and violence does not happen at certain levels of society. Because of his power, wealth and privilege, the common opinion suggests that someone like Brad Ausmus couldn’t possibly engage in domestic violence.

Through my 20 years of experience working as a domestic violence and sexual assault advocate, I know that domestic violence occurs in all types of homes and neighborhoods.

This past month Crain Communication’s executive K.C. Crain was arrested for domestic violence. While I recognize that Crain may not be found guilty of the charges of domestic violence, this incident provides a recent, tangible example that domestic violence can happen in all parts of our community.

As the Executive Director at SafeHouse Center, Washtenaw County’s only domestic violence and sexual assault support organization, I understand how society can misconceive that domestic violence only impacts certain types of people.  Emergency shelters such as  SafeHouse Center are most often called upon to serve those who have very few viable options to leave a violent situation due to a circle of poverty.

Many times, individuals with financial and other resources can leave an abusive situation without needing help to acquire basic necessities like safe housing, clothing and food.

If they do need help, they often can reach out to a private immediate circle of family members, friends and attorneys, which may allow the situation to be “kept quiet.”

Because of this, those with the fewest resources often are the most visible when we talk about domestic violence, but yet we cannot forget that domestic violence does not discriminate and can affect families of all socioeconomic classes.

Barbara Niess-May

Executive Director

SafeHouse Center

Ann Arbor, MI