The Parent Trap: It’s Time Every Kid Made Time to Volunteer. Really.

I have written about our kids being entitled, (March 20), enabled (March 27), having poor manners (March 6). Every day I am reminded how easy our kids have it, how much is given to them, and how little we ask in return. There is a way to address and work on all of these problems, as well as reach out to others: Sign up your kids (and you, too) to volunteer.

You’re thinking, “I just don’t have time to commit to that,” or “My child doesn’t have the time for that.” How many hours a week does your kid sit and play video games? Or surf Youtube? Or text?  Or watch television?  Yep, that’s what I thought. I have those kids too.  I know first hand, they do have the time.

If you are thinking your child is too young to start volunteering, remember the words of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.:

Everyone can be great because anyone can serve. You don’t have to have a college degree to serve. You don’t even have to make your subject and your verb agree to serve… You only need a heart full of grace. A soul generated by love.

Isn’t it worth it to make our kids “be great?”

How many of you give any portion of your time to volunteer?  How many of you see it as important? It will be a tough sell to your kids if you don’t do it, or don’t see the value.

First off, no need to be concerned about how difficult it is going to be to fit in to your already overbooked schedule. Volunteering doesn’t have to be a huge undertaking, or an immense time commitment. Opportunities that can ease kids into volunteering may not fall under the umbrella of volunteering per se, but more under “giving,” or “helping out.”

Start with small neighborhood gestures, especially for kids in the early years. When you are baking, do an extra half-batch for the neighbor. Let your little ones pack them up and help deliver. Do you have an elderly neighbor, or one who could use a little physical help? Plant flowers, do yard help, take out their garbage, shovel, etc.

Any friends or family with newborns?  That’s the perfect opportunity to make dinner for the overwhelmed parents.

School lends itself well to volunteering. Our schools need us desperately, and volunteering at school can be quite easy to do and a great way to model volunteerism for our kids. When I have baked/cooked for school, be it a bake sale or Teacher Appreciation Week, I let my two- and five-year-old take the goodies to school making it known  what the items are for and why we are contributing. School-aged kids can the baking.

My time spent away from home or work is limited, as it is for many parents. Not having enough time to be at school is a legitimate roadblock (huge thanks to all those parents who do have the time and contribute!).  To hurdle that roadblock, find things to do from home or that are not too time-consuming. Teachers are always looking for help to do prep work for the classroom. The monthly Scholastic book orders are a great way to contribute. Time spent? Maybe two hours/month. Volunteer to work as the organizer who emails and makes phone calls to set up classroom parties.  Or the emergency contact person in case of emergency school closings.  All done from home (or even work) with minimal time spent. Ever notice that the volunteers on the list at your school (no matter what the event/need) are always the same 10-20 families?  Make your name one of them.
By you doing some volunteering, you are setting the best example and paving the way for your kids to do it.

Ready to step it up a bit?

Find an organization or group in need that is of interest to your kids. My daughter has had almost four years of Chinese and really enjoys Asian culture, so she does volunteering at an English As A Second Language summer camp.  She also did a summer of volunteering with a therapeutic riding organization.  This summer my 12-year-old son will help out at the rink, being a “junior coach” of sorts, helping out with the youngest hockey players. Both have done YVC (Youth Volunteer Corps, through YMCA).  Finding a passion and being able to give back within those parameters is a win-win.

Volunteering is the best way to cure entitlement.  It is the best way for ‘tweens and teens to step out of the world of themselves. This age group is way too full of “woe is me, my life stinks.” Many times these cocky, self-important teens are really just insecure kids trying to figure it all out.  Extending a hand to others can boost self esteem and let them see how much special worth they really have, and that maybe their lives don’t stink as much as they thought.

For parents who have disposable income and older kids who want to have incredible volunteering experiences on a grander scale, check out:

www.rusticpathways.com
This company has international (as well as U.S.) trips that incorporate volunteering with cultural immersion.
Also referred to as “volunteering vacations,” these ways of giving back are becoming quite popular (for those with extra $$$$$, and I do mean $$$$$). You can do trips as a family, or kids can go alone with chaperoned groups. Most trips are during the spring and summer months and are available to middle school and high school students as well as students finishing high school and entering college. Do your kids want to teach English to Tibetan refugees and Buddhist monks while learning Tibetan traditions in India? How about going to Cambodia to work with orphans and take part in projects to better their general living conditions?  The options are amazing.

If you choose to stay local, Gail Wolkoff is the founder and head of Dedicated To Make A Change (www.dedicatedtomakeachange.com).  Formally a teacher at Greenhills School and head of Service Learning, Through her organization, Gail will help coordinate you with a compatible volunteering opportunity. She does not post a list of places to volunteer on her site, but better yet, will help each youth and/or parent find a personal place to volunteer. She believes this approach ensures people are pleased with their experience.  She says “happy volunteers create more volunteers.”

Lets not forget another benefit of volunteering,  the one that really gets my daughter trying to up her hours:  the looming-on-the-horizon college application.

College admission officers want to see a pattern of volunteering. Businesses also see prospective employees as more valuable if they have volunteered.

Here is quote from Volunteering.org:

There’s no doubt that the time you spend as a volunteer or volunteer leader can be invaluable to you, not only for the often unique experiences you gain, but because it can help you secure a better job in summers and after graduation, open doors to networking opportunities with community and business leaders, broaden your knowledge base, and give you a feeling of satisfaction and fulfillment.” —volunteerguide.org/volunteer/motivation/resume-building.htm

Still need more benefits?

• people who volunteer early in life tend to continue to do so
• families can volunteer together and create unique bonds
• volunteering brings together a diverse range of people from all walks of life
• kids learn better from hands-on, real-life experiences
• time spent volunteering is time not spent on negative behaviors/activities
• volunteering teaches new skills that kids might not otherwise be subjected to
• seriously recharges your karmic batteries

Want one more?

Summer is coming and your kids need something to balance out all that popsicles-in-the-sun, “there’s nothing to do” down time.

Okay, time to get started.  Here are some other organizations that can help you make it happen:

Doinggoodtogether.org
generationon.org
www.1-800-Volunteer.org (connect with local volunteer center …try Gail first)
www.FamilyCares.org (projects to do as a family)
AATFK a2teens4kids@gmail.com/ www.aatfk.org (local organization)

Every so often I wish I had a Parent Trap magic wand. If I were so lucky, today I would wave it and ensure that every middle and high school in America, both public and private, had a Service Learning component to their graduation requirements.

On the 100th day of his administration, President Obama said: “I ask every American to make an enduring commitment to serving your community and your country in whatever way you can.”

In whatever way you can.

That leaves it pretty open.

Help your kids pick a cause. Pick an interest. Pick up the phone and commit—today. More people than you can imagine will thank you including, eventually, your children.